tisdag, januari 01, 2008

50 universella osanningar om kön

Jag blir så fruktansvärt upprörd när man läser idiotiska jävla skitlistor som dom här från Mens Health.
Visst, det kanske bara är lite oskyldig igenkänningshumor men det här jävla tänket går igen överallt.
Att det finns universella sanningar om kvinnor eller om män är en myt som så länge den lever kvar förstör väldigt mycket.
Jag förstår inte hur svårt det ska vara att börja se på folk som personer, individer, oavsett kön.
Det finns mycket man som kille inte förstår vad gäller tjejer och deras liv, saker så som hur mycket sexuella trakasserier en vanlig tjej faktiskt får stå ut med under ett vanligt liv eller hur det känns att känna skuld inför sina sexuella lustar.
Listor som tog upp sånna saker skulle vara intressanta att läsa.
Men den här ytliga dyngan gör mig bara förbannad.
Visst, det finns många punkter som stämmer in på mig, på båda listorna. Och det finns många som inte stämmer in.

50 Things She Wishes You Knew
Universal truths that all men should--but don't--understand:

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.
2. Real men drive stick shift.
3. I will leave if you lie.
4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.
9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
11. I expect you to call me.
12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
13. I'm scared of losing my independence.
14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.
18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.
20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
23. You should never tell me what to do.
24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.
28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
30. I want to be Madonna.
31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.
37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....
38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.
39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
41. I love it when you're sweaty.
42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
44. I like porn.
45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
49. I remember everything about our relationship.
50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

50 Things He Wishes You Knew
Universal guy truths that all women should understand:

1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.
5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.
7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once.
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.
9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.
11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.
13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.
14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.
17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.
18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?
19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.
20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.
21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.
22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
23. You’re really bad at faking it.
24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late.
25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.
27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.
28. Unless we're meeting my parents.
29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.
30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.
31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.
32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."
33. We love ponytails.
34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.
35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.
36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.
37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.
40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."
42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.
44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.
45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.
46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"
49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.
50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.

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